Mo mo mo....for me!

I am counting on getting to this more often, god knows I will have more time....I hope. One can hope right?

I think I have come to a place in my life where I need to really formulate what I want to do when I grow up....sounds crazy considering I 35 years old. -- that's old for where I am starting out at.

The relationship department is symbolically....and significantly sucking the life right out of me. I think each special person in my life represents a simple place and time in my life -- the past, the present and the future. I won't even question how it will be significant a year from now......but right now -- it's significant and it helps me organize my thoughts and emotions around that. -- so today's special word is significant...a much more sophisticated word that my normal vocab these days like -- foobosh...or booyah!...

What my job like right now -- let's say I have been jumping through hoops! (add backflips and heck might as well add standing on my head while we are at it. (I love love love my work -- I do -- just need to put that out there) The facts are relative: I am wayyyyyyy to comfortable, I am within my limits and always crave new development and creativity -- and if it were not for the essence, satisfaction and diverse complexity of the "work" of helping individuals see their potential to watch them grow and become empowered in a short period of time -- I can't say for sure that I would stay there. -- but I am trying to just tell myself everyday why I love what I do. However, I question my "calling" every single day. Maybe I am just stuck in a comfort zone and I am uncomfortable with the whole comfort zone concept. Makes no effin sense to me whatsoever....but moving on....

I have made a concious decision (scratch that -- effort) to just ride out the summer and just soak it up a little.......the next little while I will be pushing myself physically, July will be a month of fun....and I think August will bring me to an new emotional/mental level.......cause I will have more time on my hands to just stew over shit. -- I think it is about time I started stewing. It motivates me to actually do something....for now I will just be a dreamer.....