Strength....

Now and then I come across a few notes or little snippets here that I find moving, so as I blog more of my own thoughts, I also want to continue to compile some of my favorite messages that I have come to discover. I enjoy having a place where I can come to to feel a bit inspired once and awhile and enjoy being able to share it with others.....

Everybody Knows:

You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:

That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

~author unknown, source unknown~

How does it happen....

For some reason I can't sleep, I'm awake, half-plowed, and find some sort of demented pleasure in torturing myself to blog in the wee hours of the night rather than being in bed. That seems to be the growing theme for me these days. In and out…in and out…over and over again.

Anyways......I thought I would try to bore myself to sleep by putting out there a hodge podge of thoughts....

I think..... a lot.

I must to have been that kid that grew up asking why why why???? I'm gonna have to consult with my mother on that to confirm....

Anyhow...even till this day...I look around me and see an establishment or business and wonder...how does it survive out there when there is so much competition? I mean....I'll see a cute little Thai, Indian, Deli or or Sushi place when further down the road are so many others just like it. What makes one particular restaurant stand out and so unique that it stands amongst the rest at having fighting chance at being a thriving business?

I do this when I see couples together as well.....I look at them and wonder....

Where did they meet? how does that happen so easily when there are soooo many people in this big o'l world that they can chose from? What was it about each other that just placed them together, made them fit?....was it through friends, in school? Did their eyes meet across a crowded room....what???? How do you know if it stands a chance? Do you just leap in and pray for the best? Many people have told me it is just something that happens.....

Logically thinking or possibly even wishful thinking.... sure...... I would want to believe that may be the case....but.....if I were to compare it to the business analogy, isn't there a sense of responsibility for showing up every day eager and excited to be there? To be be creative, to stand out? To not be afraid to put all little elbow grease into it even to support it so that it may thrive and be successful? -- I don't know. My guess is that anything important in life is worth the input (the work)....the output is just the rewards that natural come as a result.....and thus leading to something pretty fantastic......

Change....

Sometimes there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we need. Sometimes change is what we really want. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving the person you are becoming....

Sometimes I need to look back and remind myself......

Be Not Afraid

To walk through the darkness - for therein you may find the light;
To take one step at a time - for only then can you complete the journey;
To question - for there you will find the truth;
To hope - from that a dream can grow;
To believe - otherwise, there is nothing;
To trust - for it is the basic element of all relationships;
To give - for in doing so, you shall be given;
To remember - for memories are proof that you have lived;
To cry - tears are a source of healing;
To hurt - from that can come growth;
To laugh - your inner beauty is reflected then;
To start again - there is a chance this time will be even better;
To be independent - for only then will you find yourself;
To set new goals - for then your existence will take on mean­ing;
To share - for happiness is nothing if it's yours alone;
To open the closed door - perhaps what was behind it has changed;
To take a chance - new worlds have been discovered this way;
To, at times, despair - for only then do we appreciate;
To re-examine yourself- for death sets in when growth stops;
To face each new day - if you choose, God will walk beside you each hour;
To make promises - they are the foundations of life;
To plant a small seed - from it the majestic tree grows;
To touch someone - who knows how that small action may change your lives;
To love - for only in that way will you be loved;
To live - only then will past relationships be meaningful;
To die - for therein lies eternal life.

By Elaine Slater Reese

Getting it....

A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you

can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less.

You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear.

So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

This has not meant more to me than right now…enjoy.

My HERO!

I was thinking of putting this in the locals singles ad....think it's too much????

MY HERO

~ Should be confidence, have zest for life in something that they are passionate about.

~ Should be strong enough to stand by his convictions, fearless but still be afraid sometimes....and smart enough to know when to follow his heart instead of his head.

~ Should always have are the ability to change, learn, grow, and the willingness to do so.

~ Should have an understanding and strong sense of self, and a willingness to take on the world.

~ Should be wise enough to be strong without cruelty and be vulnerable but not to wimpy.

~ Will make me laugh and smile inside and out, but will know when it is important to be serious.

~ Will put others before themselves but to know well enough not to compromise their own dignity and self worth.

~ Tall enough and smart enough to reach his dreams without walking around with his head in the clouds.

~ Someone who can laugh at themselves whether they are real and perceived shortcomings.

~ Should not need to be perfect….but have self-doubts and have imperfections and recognize his own flaws and to see the good in others despite their flaws

~ Should be a tough guy who is a secret nurturer or a a bit like a roasted marshmallow


~ Stamina!

~ Should give the perfect present and know why is is perfect….even if it is a dandy lion pulled from the yard!

~ Should always be willing to run into a burning building to rescue a basket of kittens.

“Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves." ~ Carol Pearson

Every woman should have....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screw drivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. Whom she can trust, Whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally ...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... Where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year... -Maya Angelou

Mo mo mo....for me!

I am counting on getting to this more often, god knows I will have more time....I hope. One can hope right?

I think I have come to a place in my life where I need to really formulate what I want to do when I grow up....sounds crazy considering I 35 years old. -- that's old for where I am starting out at.

The relationship department is symbolically....and significantly sucking the life right out of me. I think each special person in my life represents a simple place and time in my life -- the past, the present and the future. I won't even question how it will be significant a year from now......but right now -- it's significant and it helps me organize my thoughts and emotions around that. -- so today's special word is significant...a much more sophisticated word that my normal vocab these days like -- foobosh...or booyah!...

What my job like right now -- let's say I have been jumping through hoops! (add backflips and heck might as well add standing on my head while we are at it. (I love love love my work -- I do -- just need to put that out there) The facts are relative: I am wayyyyyyy to comfortable, I am within my limits and always crave new development and creativity -- and if it were not for the essence, satisfaction and diverse complexity of the "work" of helping individuals see their potential to watch them grow and become empowered in a short period of time -- I can't say for sure that I would stay there. -- but I am trying to just tell myself everyday why I love what I do. However, I question my "calling" every single day. Maybe I am just stuck in a comfort zone and I am uncomfortable with the whole comfort zone concept. Makes no effin sense to me whatsoever....but moving on....

I have made a concious decision (scratch that -- effort) to just ride out the summer and just soak it up a little.......the next little while I will be pushing myself physically, July will be a month of fun....and I think August will bring me to an new emotional/mental level.......cause I will have more time on my hands to just stew over shit. -- I think it is about time I started stewing. It motivates me to actually do something....for now I will just be a dreamer.....